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We admit it: Aaron Foley had us going for more paragraphs than we want to admit.
His wry look at Corktown in The Periphery, a new year-old local online monthly, starts in a style that seems journalistic: a sniffling resident "biked two-and-a-half miles to a Rite Aid on Woodward Avenue in Midtown to buy some Robitussin."
“There’s no CVS here in Corktown, no Rite Aid, nothing,” says [Elise] Cole, who is now feeling better. “This is what we have to put up with living here. And it’s a shame.”
"When are we going to get our vegan soul restaurant," Aaron Foley imagines a Corktown newcomer asking. (Photo by Motor City Wine)
Hey, Corktown's drugstore desert is real. And Foley is a freelance journalist who has an On Detroit column in Belt Magazine and contributes to Metro Times. And the subhead up top, though overheated, seems valid:
"As revitalization rages through Detroit, one neighborhood is struggling to find its place in the city’s changing landscape."
As "CBS Sunday Morning" distracted us in the background, we initially missed tip-offs in the headline ("Inside Corktown, America’s Most Dangerous Neighborhood") and in Foley's Facebook link ("From the desk of Andy Borowitz").
Finally, thanks to enough caffeine and natural skepticism, a reality antenna twitched. What didn't change is admiration of a clever writer froliciking in a target-rich playground.
A few more tastes before you click through to enjoy it all:
► "When are we going to get our vegan soul restaurant?"
► There is talk of opening a precinct above Slows BBQ.
► The population of Corktown has declined from 1,134 to 1,130 in the last month, prompting concerns from local leaders about what needs to be done to stem the tide.
► TV cameras followed [Chief James] Craig during “Operation Honeybee,” a police raid where more than a dozen offenders were arrested, with crimes ranging from using false addresses for car insurance to urban exploring in the CPA Building.
► Downtown is on the upswing — a new Potbelly just opened, symbolic of the area’s rise.
Foley also has pitch-perfect satire about Stephen Henderson, Grosse Pointers, import drivers and "tensions between young white Corktown residents and . . ." Click below to see the four phrases after that set-up.
Update: Responding to a satire-impaired reader on Reddit, Foley posts: "I hate having to explain the joke but I basically wanted to parody every doomsday article written about Detroit (right down to the cautious but hopeful suburbanite) but flip it in a bizarro sense to comment on some of the reaction to what's going on in Corktown at the moment, be it development, crime or media coverage."
