State Rep's party switch involved bromantic texts with Speaker Jase Bolger
July 17th, 2012, 11:59 PM
Every blushing bride wants the wedding to be perfect in every way. The dress, the church, those obnoxious reception entrance things, etc. Everything. Must. Be. Perfect.
Such was the case when Kent County state Rep. Roy Schmidt decided to divorce Lansing's Democratic caucus and politically elope with the GOP. Schmidt so wanted everything to be perfect.
No, really. That’s what he said. In a text message to political dreamboat and Speaker of the House Jase Bolger.
See before Schmidt switched parties Bolger wanted him to recruit a straw man Democratic opponent. Schmidt hired some slack-jawed GNC register jockey to play his “opponent” in the state House race. Sadly, this budding creatine kingpin eventually had to drop out of the race because he didn’t actually live in Schmidt’s district.
On May 14, Bolger and Schmidt whispered sweet nothings to each other about their plans via text. Seriously? These clowns learned nothing from Kwame and Christine apparently.
Speaker: “Can they get the paperwork to u and u get to me so we can get it in our hands, show the GOP we’re all set…then we’ll file tomorrow.”
Schmidt: “For the Dem candidate. Yes!”
Speaker: “Exactly, for the Dem candidate…we already have paper work for our R candidate!”
Schmidt: “I know. I am so nervous at this point-just want it to go perfect!”
Speaker: “Me too. I don’t like leaving anything to chance, thus my anxiousness to get this last piece wrapped up. All will then b perfect!”
Oh my God, you have no idea how perfect it will “then b!” Like unicorns and rainbows and Justin Bieber perfect!
Now look, technically, we should probably focus on the fact that the Speaker of the Michigan House of Representatives engineered a Representative’s party switch in a manner that not only handcuffed the other party’s ability to field a viable opponent in the race, but also involved paying some slacker to play an opponent.
That’s pretty sleazy and, given Bolger’s Don Segretti-like appearance, kind of surprising that he almost pulled this off on his own. One never really thinks it could all be the work of a little Don Segretti-type, does one?
But really, the most shocking and terrifying part of this controversy is that members of the Michigan legislature talk to each other like a couple of sophomores—the type who don’t take honors or AP classes—getting ready for the big homecoming dance.
Christ, it’s just so embarrassing. -- JTW