by
Have you been to this seven-week-old Detroit hotspot?
. . We detect echoes of Detroit in a send-up of urban bar and restaurant coverage tapped out by a young architect 2,100 miles away in Oakland, Calif.
Max Chanowitz, a 2012 University of California-Berkeley graduate, parodies tiresome tropes and generic prose about "a great setting for moneyed 20-somethings." His self-posted essay at Medium begins:
Who else is excited for the new cocktail bar?
I’m talking about the one opening up in [historical building] in [up-and-coming neighborhood]. . . . It sounds like it’s going to be [hyperbole].
He's presumably thinking of trendy spots in San Francisco and on his side of the bay, but we see descriptions that just need a Corktown, Midtown, downtown or Woodbridge name between the brackets.
See if any come to mind:
► The bar is called [Something] & [Something Else].
► "It’s a new venture by [notable local restaurateur], the owner of [upscale bar], [spin-off of upscale bar] and [spin-off of the spin-off]."
► "The bar will feature inventive cocktails with a local twist, including hand-made [ingredient] from [local boutique food business]."
► "There will also be a limited food menu of small bites, including such delights as [unexpected meat] sliders."
► They have a drink called The [street it’s on] and another named after [famous person in local lore].
► "The space has reclaimed wood siding and antique light fixtures from [defunct local factory]."
► "The new bar is taking over the space that used to house [local business] . . . a much-loved fixture in [neighborhood] for decades."
► "The interior design was done by [trendy firm], the same folks that designed [other new cocktail bars up and down the block].
Play fill-the-blanks by posting a comment.
[Hat tip to Lee DeVito, who links to the original on Facebook.]
