Take a Shot: Here's What Makes Us Tipsy Tonight in the Election Day Drinking Game
November 7th, 2017, 12:34 PM
Today definitely brings an excuse for daytime imbibing, if you can, and for serious after-dark quaffing. (But remember, everyone: Let's be careful out there.)
To supplement conventional Detroit political coverage, here's a drinkers' guide to mayoral and council Election Day refreshment triggers:
♦ Open a bottle as soon as Detroit's "comeback," "revival," rebound," "turnaround" or "new era" is mentioned.
♦ Taste a small sip when Mike Duggan or Coleman A. Young II says "The Neighborhoods." [Too easy, so pace yourself.]
♦ Take a gulp if anyone dares to write or say "a tale of two cities," "two Detroits" or "New Detroit and Old Detroit."
♦ Other hoist-a-glass cues: the words "bankruptcy" and "street lights," together or separately.
♦ Swallow again when we tweet an election photo tagged "#DetroitLooksLikeThis."
♦ Make it a double when "motherland" slips from the lips of Young or campaign manager Adolph Mongo.
♦ If you hear "schools" or "crime," pour a little down the drain in sorrow and lamentation.
. . . Intermission: Check the liquor supply in case you need to restock.
♦ Toss one back if Detroit's chief storyteller is interviewed or quoted.
♦ Savor a slug around 8:01 p.m. if "predictably," "as expected" or "no surprise" describes exit polling.
♦ Raise and repeat if Cardi B sings at Councilwoman Brenda Jones' party.
♦ Quaff the first time Mike Duggan says: "One Detroit for all of us."
♦ Go again when he adds: "Building Detroit's future together."
♦ Refill and raise the glass each time the mayor says "for all Detroiters" or "for everyone in this city."
♦ Consume what's left if Fox 2's M.L. Elrick stretches out on a downtown bar again at any point: