Metro Times presents its first "boat issue" this week, and any east-sider with a pair of Topsiders would say they got an awful lot right and only a little bit wrong. (Pumping out a vessel that is starting to sink is not called "de-watering," but that's pretty funny and I plan to use it the next time I have to bail.)
Among the highlights: A list of waterfront bars and restaurants, a tour of marinas and yacht clubs, a visit with a tow-boat operator (who sometimes has to de-water), and best of all, a visit to the first Jobbie Nooner of the #MeToo era:
The Wheel of Destiny is exactly what it sounds like — a wheel that, when spun, could determine whether or not your photo ends up being used as online masturbratory material. Women are invited aboard the Maiden to spin the wheel, which could land on one of the following options: "Kiss a girl," "show your boobs," "show your ass," or "show your xxx." Captain Jim says more than 500 women will spin the wheel on Jobbie Nooner and show their bits for some beads.
When the topic of consent comes up, Jim is quick to explain one of his main goals in providing an experience for Jobbie-goers is safety. "We don't force anybody to get on my boat," he says. "That's what kills me, is people get hammered and they come up on my boat and spin the wheel and then they get mad at me, and I'm like, 'What? It wasn't me who took the pictures, it was the 5,000 people around me that did.'"
Lots of pictures with that one. Good ones, too.