Media

Nolan Finley tells kids to get off his lawn, start biking to school

February 28, 2019, 7:24 AM

Once a careful reader gets a sense of who Detroit News editorial-page editor Nolan Finley is -- boulevardier, happy bachelor, never-Trump conservative -- it's possible to enjoy his columns. But every so often he goes into a curmudgeon act that makes that same reader think he should add a shot of his beloved bourbon to the morning coffee and consider letting some issues pass him by. 

Featured_miweek_henderson_macdonald_finley_22773
Nolan Finley, curmudgeon

Today, for instance. 

Finley tees up on perhaps the most undeserving target of the week -- the earnest little kids who came into Sen. Dianne Feinstein's office a few days back to plead for her support for the Green New Deal -- and shakes a gnarled finger in their unlined faces. After calling them "sassy brats" on first reference, he shows he's only getting warmed up:

The kids who engaged Feinstein were rudely parroting their adult handlers. The run-in followed days of demonstrations by schoolchildren in France, who left their classes demanding their government "do something" about global warming. Hundreds of Kentucky kids also flooded the office of Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell with a similar request.

Presumably, all those children are looking for sweeping government mandates, like those included in the Green New Deal. Their adult indoctrinators should be honest with them. Doing something means they'll have to significantly change their lives and lifestyles.

Demonstrations? Confronting lawmakers in their offices? What do these damn kids think this is? A democracy? 

But he goes on to really rub it in. Go back to living in a little bungalow, kids! See how much you care about the planet when you have to share a bathroom with your baby brother! 

The children who say they're terrified the world will be unsalvageable in a mere 12 years could walk or bicycle to school. That would keep carbon belching buses off the road, and the family SUV in the garage.

Their parents could do the same. They could get by with one vehicle per household, used sparingly. And make sure that vehicle is small and electric.

As they say on Twitter, is anyone going to tell him? Some people are already doing these things, and anyway, larger houses aren't causing climate change. Rather, it's excessive reliance on fossil fuels, like coal from Finley's native Kentucky, as well as a broad constellation of other human behaviors that are best addressed on a broad, national-policy level. Those kids can't improve mass transit on their own, which is why they went to a U.S. senator's office.

Finally, if Finley is going to admonish "adult handlers" for using children as political props, we look forward to his column during the next March for Life, when thousands of anti-abortion activists put "Thanks, mommy, for letting me live" signs in their children's hands and push them toward photographers. But maybe we should take our own advice and let that one go for now. 


Read more:  The Detroit News


Leave a Comment:

Photo Of The Day