Mackinac

Inventorying The Mackinac Conference Swag Bag

May 29, 2013, 12:18 PM

One  highlight of the Mackinac Policy Conference is the swag bag. For regular attendees, who pay a couple grand to attend, this is a relatively small benefit. But if you’ve never been and wondered what delights are inside, I dumped mine out for a thorough inventory.

The Good

The bag itself: Normally, it’s a tote kind of thing, but this year’s bag looks to be a pretty functional, lightweight briefcase/laptop bag. It's easy to see people actually using this bag.

Grand Hotel fudge: There are two kinds of people. Those who eat fudge, and those who lie about how they don't eat it. If nothing else, this is one less bar of fudge attendees will need to purchase for family and coworkers on their way off the island.

Leatherish-bound notebook and pen: Embossed with the conference logo, attendees will look important taking notes in the post-conference client meetings back on the mainland.

Toothbrush: As someone who regularly forgets a toothbrush when traveling, this is the single greatest thing ever put in a conference swag bag. Every conference everywhere should include a toothbrush in their swag bag. It's absolutely genius.

Love Detroit T-shirt: You simply can’t go wrong with pro-Detroit T-shirts. The market is boundless.

Meh

Raisins and almonds: On one hand, almonds are awesome. On the other hand, raisins are just perfectly good grapes that someone ruined. If anyone up here wants to swap raisins for almonds, see me in the media room.

2013-14 Michigan Lobbyist Guide: I suppose this is useful if you’re looking to get in touch with Michigan Sheriff’s Association Executive Director Terry Jungel. At the same time, if you’re the kind of person who needs to get in touch with lobbyists, well, you’re the kind of person who needs to get in touch with lobbyists.

Universal cell phone car charger: This could be useful, sure, but it came in a weird fuzzy bag with the Comcast logo on it. That reminds me of the time I waited from 11-3 for the cable guy to show up and he arrived at 3:45. Even odds, some attendee will find his/her teen using the bag for their pot stash before the summer is over.

Bad

Delta in-flight cookie: All this does is remind me that middle seats, the TSA, and checked bag fees exist.

Hand sanitizer: We’re killing the good bacteria. Just use soap and water, people. It’s better for you and for humanity in general.

The Detroit Future City plan: This thing is about the size of a phone book, but you have to imagine a phone book filled with numbers that will never be called. That’s the best way I can describe the Detroit Future City plan.

Paper, lot's of paper: The Regional Chamber does a fine job informing conference attendees of all the official and after-hours events going on this week. Still, everyone will find no less than 14 glossy cards in their swag bags reminding us that, among other things, Plunkett Clooney is hosting a ice cream social Thursday. The MLive party flyer has a weird fabric-like finish. I imagine it will take many moons for it to degrade in the northern Michigan landfill where all these things will end up, unread.


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