Here at the Deadline Detroit Global Headquarters, we receive several email pitches every week from PR pros hawking potential experts on all manner of subjects. Most of the time, those pitches hope to find us well. They usually do, but also they also find us too busy to interview the latest retired cop peddling a book and an opinion on what the Whitey Bulger trial means for law enforcement. So, as a service, we're going to provide a weekly digest of some of our favorite PR pitches. Just in case you want to look for these experts' wisdom elsewhere via the Google. Or Alta Vista.
The drunken arrest of Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil at an airport was the biggest news of the month for most Americans. Like most people, you're probably wondering what does Michael Lohan think about this? Good news, because the father of professional train wreck Lindsay Lohan is ready to "open up" (their words) about Tan Mom's unfortunate legal issues. Lohan, a recovering addict and self-described entrepreneur (because, why not?) will answer the questions America wants answered: What is your relationship with Krentcil? How did you meet Krentcil? What can we expect to see in the future regarding this? Is this a part of your "helping hand" for celebrities in need of recovery?
Remember that quack-tastic "The Secret" book Oprah loved so much? The one that's all about how if you just have to really want things to happen, they will? I've been really wanting my Ford Focus to turn into a 1963 Porsche convertible, but it hasn't happened yet. Probably because I haven't read Harald Rothermel's book "Magic Formula," which totally "debunks long-held beliefs that stymie human potential and shows readers a way how to unlock the secret to an amazing life." Awesome. Rothermel is a Tony Robbins-trained "life coach" and a member of the "Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness," so he must really know what he's talking about. That Porsche is as good as mine.
Have you ever wondered what God wants? Of course, you have! If you could give God what he wants, then maybe He'd let the Lions win a playoff game every now and then. Fortunately, thanks the burning bush in his backyard, Pastor Bob Richardson has all the answers about what God wants from you and me. Richardson is also a "juggler, magician, stilt-walker, Fire-eater, and character actor." Apparently, one thing God wants is for Fire-eater to be considered a proper noun.
You're probably curious about the Google Glass, but what you're really wondering is how does an "anti-aging and beauty expert" think about wearing a computer on her face? Fortunately, Jackie Silver -- a woman who claims to get carded when buying wine, even though she's in her 50s! -- exists to tell all about it. She'll answer all the "burning" questions, such as: What was the Glass pickup experience like (you don't just get a Fedex, wink)? Seriously, they wrote "wink."
It's hard to believe, but professional athletes are just regular people. Even harder to believe, but sometimes professional athletes find themselves in legal trouble. Crazy, right? Well, professional sports agent David Willig ("fluent in multiple languages") knows all about it. He can answer questions like: What does that mean for an agent when their client gets into legal trouble? What can an agent do to help the situation? Do a lot of athletes lose their agents or promotions when they get into legal trouble? How common is it for professional athletes to get into legal trouble?
That last one must be a prank because who ever heard of athletes having legal problems?