Sports

Dawsey: Let's Not Attack His Mother For Caring About Malik McDowell

February 11, 2014, 11:39 AM by  Darrell Dawsey

A blue-chip defensive end from Southfield High, Malik McDowell blasts through 300-pound offensive tackles like a monster truck crashing through sand castles.

Clearly, his mother is made of much stouter stuff than high-school linemen.

After a days-long and painfully public standoff between the kid and his parents over McDowell’s decision to attend Michigan State, the 6’7”, 290-pound phenom apparently is acquiescing to his parents’ wishes for him to other schools.

McDowell's father, Greg McDowell, told 247Sports that his son still "wants Michigan State," but the family will not sign the necessary paperwork until the family has reached a compromise on McDowell's future. Part of that compromise process will include unofficial visits to Florida State, Ohio State and Michigan.

This is a good thing.

Of all the aspersions cast during the sometimes-bizarre tale of McDowell’s recruitment, none have been more onerous than the nasty characterizations of his mother, Joya Crowe, as some sort of meddling shrew out to either emasculate her son, get paid off him or ruin his moment in the spotlight.

Detroit Free Press columnist Shawn Windsor, for example, likened McDowell’s mother to a petulant child when she didn’t show up to see her son sign what turned out not to be his letter of intent on National Signing Day:

McDowell likely will to end up in East Lansing anyway — as part of what analysts say could be MSU’s best recruiting class of the Dantonio era. After all, MSU is where McDowell wants to be. That should be enough.

Of course, it wasn’t. His mother’s absence was akin to a public tantrum, as if she crossed her arms, ran to the corner and held her breath.

We hope, for McDowell’s sake, she eventually will exhale and remember whose future we are talking about here.

The condescension is thick here, the presumptuousness mind-boggling.

We’re supposed to believe that, after 17 years of raising her child, Joya Crowe suddenly lost sight of her son’s welfare because she wants him to further explore his college options? Because she demands that he articulate his rationale to her beyond just saying, “I’m comfortable?” Because she has the gall to want the thinking of a 17-year-old man-child — her 17-year-old man-child, mind you — unclouded by the coos and compliments that so often mask the cold, exploitative realities of big-time football?

This woman isn’t meddling. She’s parenting.

So while we’re lecturing her about exhaling, let’s also remember whose son we’re talking about.

Let’s remember that, no matter where McDowell goes, Crowe is surrendering her child to an industry wherein the NCAA will earn billions off of his sweat and that of other young men and women without ever paying them a dime; to a system that that will keep functionally illiterate “student-athletes” college eligible for as long as they can catch and run; and to a game that could one day leave him crippled and brain-damaged as surely as it could leave him filthy rich.

Frankly, she never can be too cautious, never be too discriminating.

This isn’t a knock against Michigan State. Mark Dantonio has built a terrific program and, from a distance anyway, seems to have done it with real integrity. Watching the Spartans whip on Stanford in the Rose Bowl was a treat for everyone in the state who doesn’t rock maize-and-blue.

But McDowell’s mother shouldn’t be driven by what’s best for coaches or by what fans want or by what makes the storyline easier for reporters to digest.

What He Needs, Not Just Wants

It is fine that her son wants to attend MSU. But parents have to consider their children’s needs as well.

For Crowe, that means not being swayed by recruiting-trail patter or the siren calls of potential glory or even her son’s desire to want to be at a campus with his buddies.

And it also means taking a stand that has pissed off many.

Crowe has been slammed for going public with her dislike for Michigan State, accused of undermining the program and her son. But why shouldn’t she be honest about her misgivings if asked -- especially if she thinks it could influence her child to make what she believes is a better choice?

If interviewers seek her out, why shouldn’t she at least be able to defend herself against stupid, baseless whispers that she’s “hating” on her son or taking payoffs from one college or another?

Why should she have to allow herself to be smeared just because she wants what’s best for her kidv—vor because what she thinks is best might inconvenience some adults who write about, recruit and root for him?

Some may dislike Crowe’s style, but what gives sports fans or coaches or columnists — or anyone else who didn’t give a damn about McDowell when his mother was birthing him and raising him and buying his food and school clothes — the right to question her intentions?

Room to Reflect and Double-Check 

For his part, McDowell deserves credit for honoring his mother’s wishes in the face of what certainly must seem like overwhelming public sentiment to the contrary.

It’s a wise move that, judging by his father’s words, could keep the peace in his family without costing him anything. After all, McDowell’s not in danger of losing his scholarship. Dantonio seems more understanding of his circumstances than upset by them. And if nothing else, the visits will give McDowell a chance to double-check his own social calculations.

No one doubts the sincerity or depth of McDowell’s desire to attend MSU. But 17 year olds also can be rash and, as the sad case of another local football talent attests, are fully capable of making poor choices that can dim even the brightest opportunities. 

McDowell may well wind up at MSU as speculated, and that’s fine. But he shouldn’t have to trade in his mother’s respect or goodwill for a football scholarship. And his mother shouldn’t be attacked for not “backing off” or accused of “not treating him like a man” because she won’t let him make vital decisions alone or lightly.

After all, if there’s one thing any man should know, it’s that he won’t always agree with his mother — but he should always respect her enough to at least hear her out.


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