Woodward Dream Cruise Pre-Cruise Clogs Road, Proves Gas Prices Are Too Low

August 16, 2012, 9:25 AM

The Woodward Dream Cruise is Saturday. That bears repeating: The Woodward Dream Cruise is Saturday. Saturday.

The Dream Cruise one of those events that people really look forward to, like the Thanksgiving Day parade or the downtown fireworks. Unfortunately, whereas high school marching bands don’t wander through downtown for the better part of a week in advance of Thanksgiving, Dream Cruisers are currently doing their level best to ruin the evening commute for those of us who live in Ferndale, Pleasant Ridge, Berkley, Royal Oak, etc.

It’s really fun trying to get home from work or run errands on the main thoroughfare when it’s clogged up by people driving around just for the sake of driving around.

For some reason, too many cruisers aren’t content with the annual one-day event. They need to drive up and down Woodward for no apparent reason all week long. Worse, even more people come to the area just to park and watch others drive up and down Woodward for no apparent reason.

Dream Cruise 3

And then there are the idiots “cruising” in their mobile billboard trucks. I always make a note of businesses that use billboard trucks. That way I can patronize their competition as much as possible. Oh, there was also this nutter pushing his barely road-worthy crazy truck up and down Woodward last night. Earlier in the evening it nearly caused a not-at-all-pro-life pile-up as it struggled to maintain 25 MPH going up the bridge at Eight Mile.


Crazy truck wants you to know that abortion laws are the reason for the shooting at that Batman movie. Naturally. This is an idea so unhinged that one might suspect the driver is trying to discredit the entire pro-life movement on behalf of NARAL. Having looked into his crazy eyes, I’m pretty sure this idiot is sincere. Also, his American flag was so frayed that displaying it probably violates the standards established in the U.S. Flag Code

Really, the only logical conclusion for the Dream Cruise excesses is that gas prices aren’t yet high enough. Take note Exxon Mobil. If people, in this tough economy, can burn through $4/gallon gas driving up and down Woodward on a random Wednesday night, just for the sake of driving up and down a street, then clearly gas can probably go as high as six, maybe seven, bucks a gallon.

Dream Cruise…is it over yet? -- JTW

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