Humorless Michigan Citizen Writer Takes Nain Rouge A Bit Too Literally

March 22, 2013, 3:20 PM

The Michigan Citizen, owned by the wife of the guy Kwame Kilpatrick once called Bernard's "favorite white brother," is very upset about this Marche du Nain Rouge happening in the Cass Corridor Sunday.

See, if you take the Nain Rogue legend literally, that is, if you actually believe an actual red dwarf actually cursed Detroit and that curse is the actual cause of Detroit's problems, then you are ignoring real issues like race and poverty and corruption. This is true. Of course, if you believed all that then you also would be a moron. Like in the clinical, subnormal-IQ sense. 

Thankfully, unlike prosperity theology or faith healing, no one around here actually believes the Nain Rouge is real. Just like no one over the age of seven or eight believes in Santa Claus. It's just too bad the Citizen, or at least Citizen writer Phreddy Wischusen, doesn't grasp the fundamental distinction between history and mythology.

When discussing Detroit’s current and past woes, some people blame the dwarf’s curse (not the years of corruption, endemic regional racism, or a national economic model dependent on worldwide capital colonialism).
The Marche du Nain Rouge, founded in 2010, is a parade where residents are invited to “banish the red dwarf” in effigy and end the “curse” on the city. The marchers are predominately young middle class childless Caucasians, recent transplants to the city. Though well-meaning, the theme of the parade supports the very philosophy that has plagued the city since its inception. In the legend, Cadillac’s first encounter with the “native” dwarf is aggressive and violent. He never considers openness, interest or diplomacy. He never questions his “right” to be there. The Nain Rouge’s curse was thought to be at work when Chief Pontiac killed 60 people of European descent at Bloody Run. But after years of Europeans stealing land from native tribes, killing and raping the people, and manipulating the environment, can one not expect a fight? The United States has been at war with two nations for over a decade for a small group of people bombing three buildings. And is it more likely that dwarf-ignited riots in 1967 rather than police brutality, segregation and enforced poverty?
That's a silly question. Everyone knows the riots were ignited by Xenu poisoning our thetans
And, it is a truly awful shame that Cadillac never considered "openness, interest or diplomacy" when dealing with this completely make-believe creature that he mostly likely imagined while on a drunken bender. Usually when someone claims to have seen dwarves or leprechauns or hobbits or whathaveyou, they have a substance abuse problem.
Really, what you have with the Marche du Nain Rouge is a frivolous springtime event that builds on a local legend that no one, save one guy named Phreddy, takes seriously.
Funny thing about Phreddy: for all his caterwauling about "young middle class childless Caucasians recent transplants to the city," and unlike the native Detroiters raised and educated in the city that organize the Nain Rouge parade, our young, middle-class, Caucasian Phreddy is a recent transplant to the city. According to his website, he moved to Detroit from Georgia in 2005.
You know who else moved to Detroit from the south? Coleman Young. Also, Joe Louis. Cities have dynamic populations that regularly contract and expand and change. Maybe everyone should cool it on who is and isn't a real Detroiter or a native Detroiter or whatever. 
And if we could stop pretending that anyone believes a mythical dwarf's curse is a real thing, that would be great as well.

Read more:  Michigan Citizen

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