Curbed has uncovered what may be the most important news in Detroit's history. Someone claims he, well, he claims his wife saw Bigfoot in Detroit.
Curbed: According to the Cryptozoology News, a man known only as "C. Brown" was driving around an unnamed neighborhood (on Detroit's "outskirts") when his wife spotted what appeared to be Bigfoot. We'll let Brown handle the description:
"Maybe about 7-ft tall. It had short, reddish hair. But hold on, the face was human looking, as crazy as it sounds. I got to see the animal's eyes and all, big and dark, with a huge head, like a triangle shape, kinda, know what I mean? Started hitting the ground with the branch or the stick or whatever it was holding. Kind of reminded me of what squirrels do with their legs when you approach them. But this was no damn squirrel."
Nothing about this story suggests anyone was drinking heavily or just making stuff up. Nothing at all.
The problem is Detroit's vast swaths of urban prairie will make it easy for poachers who might want to register a Bigfoot kill. You aren't safe here, Bigfoot. You need to run away. Listen to John Lithgow: dancing is sinful go back to where you came from! For your own sake.
Goodbye, my friend.
